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Showing posts from September, 2019

A Season of Grief

  There is one thing I have been most afraid of my entire life, I have had a fear of death…and not just for myself, for those who are closest to me. It’s not because I fear that there isn’t a God who promises life eternal in heaven or that deep down I don’t believe I’m saved. I think it’s more to do with a fear there will be pain in dying, and being a highly emotional person, I fear the brevity of my emotions. So when my sister was first diagnosed with stage four cancer, I was suddenly forced to grapple what I had long feared the most, the potential of loosing a loved one. The confronting realisation that all of us will die, our lives are in God’s hands, and none of us know how long we have to live in this world. It was taking an abstract biblical truth and then putting flesh and bones on it. A lot of big emotions ran through me on a daily basis, and at first I found it to be a very confusing time as my relationship with my sister was very close but at times complicated. Cancer in ...

Can you Know Happiness in Hard Times?

If you were asked to describe what happiness feels like to you, how would you describe it? Is it that wonderful moment of heightened joy when everything you’re experiencing is exciting and good; when your step is light and your buoyant mood moves you to dance or sing? Or is it a more settled, peaceful feeling of contentment? When you perceive that all is good with the world and life couldn’t get much better. Whether it be momentary jubilation or a steady contentedness with yourself and others, happiness is golden. To be happy is something all of us desire. Each of us wants happiness for ourselves and for our children…and why not, the alternative is far from attractive. Yet happiness can seem an elusive thing; a destination rather than a travelling companion. Being a parent can mean we confuse our happiness with theirs. When they are happy, you are; when your relationship with them is good, then all is well. The trouble is, if your happiness is dependant on them, then the reverse is equ...

"What are you core values?" A helpful question to ask yourself

In an attempt to return my spiralling mind to a more helpful headspace, I was recently encouraged to think about my core values. I have engaged with these thoughts before and found it a beneficial exercise; seeing how my life choices are a reflection of what I truely value and then how these choices impact my day to day life. Sometimes I feel like I’m living life on autopilot; not thinking too deeply about why I’m feeling a certain way, or spending my time on certain things, I’m just doing life in the best way I know how. But with a spate of health challenges, both for myself and the family, and a growing problem with not being able to sleep…I was feeling at the edge of myself. Fatigued and jangled. It was time to stop, and revisit what I valued most and why. So I began to think, “What do I value, that I give my time, energy and resources to that reflects what I treasure?” I didn’t need to think to hard about this question… I value relationships. My relationship with God, with my hus...